My Birthday Wish

"Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends."

 - Clarence, It's a Wonderful Life

Every year my birthday comes around I like to take time out of my week to reflect and think about all the events and happenings that took place over the past year. From sweet memories with family and friends to life-changing events to moments of conviction and motivation - every season has what matters most to me...you. 

I think about all the changes that have happened over the course of the year and the memories that came with it. Every single one of them include someone I love. I want to take a moment and simply say...thank you.

We serve a very humbling Creator. He takes us where we are and daily provides grace and truth to motivate and push us where we need to be in life. He has created a path for each of us and desires nothing more than to give us our hearts' desires. This year He is teaching me how to love more - more than I ever have before. 

In looking through the years of my own life there are many beautiful moments and lessons that stand out. One of the biggest and brightest is seeing how my community of family and friends have not just been there for me but have given me the strength, encouragement, and inspiration to be joyful and make a difference. 

So thank you. 

My prayer is that you know just how much I love you. Thank you for being a star, a season, a smile, an embrace, a comfort, a motivator, a wink, a rock, and every bit of truth and grace in my life. 

You are the one I applaud. Some of you are mothers who have treated me like a daughter. Some of you are friends I have known for years, and though we are far away from each other, you have encouraged and loved me. Some of you are acquaintances and friends from college days and I have watch you become wives, husbands and mothers - watching how you treat your spouse and children. Some of you are family and have been a source of encouragement and comfort to me since day one. Some of you are men who have shown me what to value in a future husband. For all this and more I thank you. 

Thank you for showing me love and humility. Every year of reflection brings a beautiful part of my story together and I could not do it without you. 

Sweet friends, you are cherished. You mean the world to me.

As I said, my prayer is for you to know that I love you. I love you and I pray for you (yes, I pray for all of you!) all the time. Every single one of your faces are present in my mind. 

My birthday wish for this year is simple: that I pray for you and your loved ones more. I want to be there for you as you have been for me. So please do not hesitate to tell me what I can do. Where do you need a friend? If I cannot be there personally I will be there in another way. If I can stretch a hand out and pray for you in person or across the country I will. I am here for you. Yes, you.

It may be a merry and happy birthday for me, but it would not be without you. I love you, friend. I love and cherish you always. 

(Every year I go to a place called Great Falls and take some time to reflect and go for a hike. It was here I thought of you, friend!)

"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."

Romans 12:12 (NLT)

My One, Two and Now Three

by Amy

I am the proud Aunt of (now) three adorable children. Benjamin, Hannah, and now baby Joshua. They are all sweet with their own unique personalities...and so stinkin' cute! With each one I have felt more and more blessed. They are so special to this Aunt and I'm proud they are mine!

Benjamin, the first one, has always been the sweetest boy. I remember when my brother and sister-in-law told us they would be expecting him. I was in graduate school at the time, but had come to my New Mexico home for the holidays. Since my mother's birthday is in January the family tries to celebrate her special day before we all head back to our respective homes in other states. Jason and Jen had joined us for the latter part of my time there and as we celebrated my mom's special day they announced their own special gift. When Benjamin's birthday came around I was working but stopped what I was doing to take in the fact I had a nephew...finally. Call me Aunt Amy, please. It is a name I love to hear.

My family had the opportunity that Thanksgiving to drive over to Arizona and see the almost two month old for the first time. Benjamin Jay was the cutest baby ever! I loved holding him and whispering prayers over him when no one was watching. He was a perfect little baby. As he has grown he has taken the sweetest nature. From what I have observed and the stories I hear from my brother and sister-in-law about him says it all - he loves to love. I have loved all the stages of his eight years; from learning everything there is to know about dinosaurs, to being the best at building lego sets, to hearing his love for all things Star Wars (if only I could have seen his face when he learned Darth Vader told Luke he was his father....sigh), to seeing him play protector over his newborn brother, he is loving and precious in his Aunt's eyes. Eight years goes by so fast.

Hannah came into our word over six and a half years ago. August was a hot month in DC that year and I was heading home on the DC metro, thankful I was on a train with a working AC. I had been waiting the whole day to get the phone call that my first niece had arrived. I was also crazy jealous that my parents had the opportunity to drive down to all of them and be there for the birth - jealous to tears. But as I was about four stops from my drop-off I got the call. My mom was near my sister-in-law and called me to "be there" as Hannah entered the world. I could hear the commotion and when my mom uttered those words "She's here! She's here!" I started sobbing. There I was sitting in perfect view of everyone crowded around me and I was sobbing. Excited...anxious...and sad that I wasn't there - all the emotions an Aunt can have at that time. After my mom and I composed ourselves she ended the call to then call my younger brother and let him know the good news. The lady sitting next to me, obviously having heard everything, smiled and said congratulations. Through my bittersweet tears I said thank you. I had an extra skip in step walking home!

I knew Hannah Joyce would be adorable. I knew she would probably have blonde hair like her mama (and she does). I also knew she would be loved tremendously by her Aunt Amy. What we all didn't see coming was that feisty, determined, and tenacious girl! Hannah Joyce has all the makings of a strong and fearless woman. As her mommy and daddy have said time and again, she has a strong will! I love it! These are the qualities that will charge this girl with a sense of purpose in her life. My prayer for my niece has and always will be that she will have a firmness of character that will never be compromised. With her determination, the devil should be afraid! What can I say? She takes after her Aunt!

What I love most about this amazing young girl is something you can't miss when you see her - that smile. She has, by far, the most infectious smile I have seen on anyone! Seriously, she's too much.

And now there is Joshua. While I didn't get to be there for his birth like the others, I am getting the opportunity to see him in just a few short weeks. This Aunt has never been more excited. Joshua has come into our lives this very month (the best month of the year, I might add). He will share a birthday month with his Aunt Amy and Uncle John. We are thrilled to share with this cutie-patootie! They say every baby is beautiful and perfect. Let's get real - that's not always the case. But in ours...it is 100% correct! You can disagree if you want - I am allowed to be bias.

Joshua Alan, I am sure in the first week of your life your mommy and daddy are learning so much about you and what your personality is at this time. It is only going to grow and be more amazing as you get older. I cannot wait to see you change and develop your character. I pray for you daily and know that God has His hand on your future. I believe He is protecting you (alongside your older brother and sister) and making His face shine upon you. As I said when you were first born - you have come to a family filled with love for you and each other. You have a wonderful mother and courageous father. You have siblings who will keep you safe at all times. Family loves unconditionally and you've got the best. Welcome to our family, little one. You are loved.

The Reflection of Love

"Love your neighbor as yourself"

by Sarah

Well hello there! I realized this morning I've taken just over 6 months now off from writing and I feel like a guest on this page.

Sadly the thing that kept me from writing the most was the shame of my absence. Silly, right? Any objective spectator to this would likely think "it's your hobby, you can pick it up or put it down when you like," but as days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months I found my shame at not writing grew greater and greater. I was ashamed I wasn't partnering with Amy in this better, I felt ashamed that I've told people for at least a decade now that I want to write but rarely exercise this desire due to lack of discipline, I felt ashamed it had been so long. I would think of writing, even start a post, and then get pulled away, then when I thought of going back I would spiral into every negative thought imaginable.

I recently started reading a book called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I'm not that far in but from what I've read, the theme of it is accepting our imperfections and growing into the good things they foster rather than letting the shame of being imperfect control us.

In the recent years, through various experiences, I've been coming to realize how great an effect one's self worth truly does have on every relationship you hold. One of the things I struggle with most in life is accepting myself as OK. Good or "doing well," is a state that is nearly impossible for me to convince myself of. The voices in my head - be it the enemy or low self esteem or some combination - are constantly telling me I'm not good enough, I should be embarrassed, I don't measure up and I never will.

I've recently struggled accepting the imperfections of someone very close to me. I try to let go, tell myself we're all sinners who fall short, I try to extend the same grace I know I've been given through Christ in order not to live out the parable of being the debtor forgiven who leaves to hunt down his own debtor, but I still struggle with the affront and annoyance of their imperfections. As I grapple with their imperfections, I have realized I treat myself with the same stringency. In some ways I am completely blind to and forgiving of my imperfections as only the first person allows, but likewise the second I step out of something I consider "the lines," I fall into self-shaming, bashing, and welcome the barrage of  negative thoughts throwing my value into question. And this is what I have done in return, to others. I accept and enjoy others as long as things are good, if they do something "wrong" I can even extend the words and comforts I believe are "right" for a while, but when it is against me, in my face, I treat them as I treat myself and that is not a pretty thing. I question their goodness, how could they do this, what are they really made of. I know that statement will likely have many signing up to be my friend at once. Maybe this is just my own attractive quirk, but I have to think I'm more than likely not alone in this behavior.

I believe Brene Brown says something to the effect of accepting others starts with accepting ourselves. I've come to find in a very real way that we can feign love, admiration, kindness for quite some time, and sometimes God works through us to extend love, kindness, admiration, and grace far beyond ourselves, but at the end of the day the value we have taken on, the love and grace we have accepted for ourselves will be the common denominator of love and grace we can dispense. We will love our neighbor as ourselves, which means for some of us we have to work out the "as ourselves" in there.

Lent

Cleansing from the Inside Out

By Amy

It is officially the fourth day of Lent and things are looking good. Lent has not always been something I have practiced, however, in recent years I have started observing and allowing it to minister to me in preparation for Easter. There is a much needed cleansing that Lent provides that I have come to love. It comes at a time when resolutions start to drift and old habits start showing up again. It reinforces the reasons that started new habits in the beginning of the year. And while all of this is wonderful (even necessary) it compares nothing to the spiritual discipline and reflection of Jesus' life each one of us has to take during the forty-day journey.

This girl has never been great at a habit like waking up early enough to have a morning before work calls. Sleep has always won over my desire to watch the sun come up. I know it sounds sad and lame. Still, the feeling of waking up on a cold morning and getting out of the warm sheets that beg me to stay sounds cruel to the human body. Jolts like that are not nice.

That is why this year I decided to give up my mornings and my sleepy head and hand it over to God to use for His purpose. Ah, sacrifice, how I love giving you the stank eye! This, along with a continuous journey of healthy eating, have kept me on my toes. The combination of the two requires concentration, determination, awareness, and hard work. I must say...I like it. 

To my surprise, the first day was actually kind of nice. I woke up after having adequate sleep (those that know me understand how I operate...aren't you proud of me?). Coffee was honestly the first thing on my mind, so I went to the kitchen, grabbed a cup of coffee and used my newly purchased creamer made from coconut and almonds. For those of you who have not tried Nutpods creamers - they will change your world!

Spending some time reading my Bible set my mood for the day. From getting ready to walking into work to leaving and joining friends for dinner, every part of my day was calm and peaceful. I found myself putting my coffee cup near my bed to encourage me to wake up the next morning. I didn't need to do that after all - the motivation to get up and have the luxury of enjoying my morning was already there. 

I have heard many of my girlfriends who are mothers tell me they wake up before the sun is even ready to show its face and spend a few minutes alone with their cup of joe and the Bible. It energizes them in a way nothing else does. Sure, there are crazy days and overwhelming moments but having that time alone is everything and makes all the difference. 

Yes, it is just the fourth day of Lent but giving up my mornings to sleep has been worth it so far. I know it will be worth it in days to come. I believe the habit I am attempting to make will stick so that my God-time will never be compromised. I am loving every moment. This is time well spent; time when I can take the focus off me and my worries, problems and issues and focus on Him. This is about Him anyway. 

There are still struggles; fighting my body to wake up is not pretty. There may be punches involved. But hey, for four days I have conquered. For four days I have been the one who got the worm. This bird is happy with progress.