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Saturday, August 27, 2016

The Best Is Yet To Come

by Amy


I'm trying to get in the practice of planning my week every Saturday. Today is the third week I've achieved this goal. I call this success. Now if I can do this for another week I think that means a new habit has formed. Here's to hoping!

One thing I've realized is that no matter how great I set a plan in place, it is the practice that makes progress greater. I've also realized that no matter how much good intention goes behind planning, things can still go awry.

Planning is in my nature. I love the lines, the perfect display of cleanliness...the potential. Organization is key and the thought of it put me in my happy place. I get excited knowing that I have things to do and a time and place to do them. The whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing definitely goes through my mind on a daily basis. Having everything in its place makes me think things are going perfectly well.

The problem with perfection, though, is that it pays no mind to unexpected and untimely interferences. Throw a wrench in the plan and my brain can't take it. This is where I feel God pats my pretty little head and says, "Little girl, little girl, when will you learn?"

I'm sure he gets a kick out of me when life throws curve balls. I'm a hoot.

Over the years I've learned some lessons and overcome a few of my "it has to be perfect" type of thinking. One of these ways is learning it is okay if not everything on the checklist for the week has been accomplished. It is fine if my change of address with the DMV is pushed a day or two. It is fine if the thank you letter is not sent within the first week as per usual etiquette. It is fine if the cleaning of the bathroom has to be pushed to the weekend (It. Is. Okay.)

On a bigger scale, it is okay if the only thing I accomplish this year is getting healthier and losing weight. Why? Because if all I accomplish is being a healthier person then I've conquered the biggest hurdle of my entire life. That's pretty darn amazing. 

It's okay to plan and it is okay that things are pushed to the future, whether they be a little or a lot in the future. Me changing my life is never going to end - God wants me to grow with Him. I love it. And what a relief to know that He is fine with me doing what seems like the mundane life. I have a strong feeling that He would rather I give 100% to one thing than 10% in ten things. He is pleased with my whole heart and whole effort. Thank goodness, because I don't have any more room on my planner...except maybe coffee time!



"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." Proverbs 16:3
"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." Psalm 20:4 



Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Cereal Boxes



I poured myself a bowl of cereal recently (at a time that I consider an early morning) and as I set down the box I saw the back of the box with dozens of multi-colored letters on it. I realized nearly immediately I was looking at a crossword puzzle. Beside the letters were a list of questions such as what does the monkey eat with his cereal? and what's the shape of this cereal?

This sight immediately took me to the days of sitting around my kitchen table as a child reading the back of my cereal box, unscrambling letters, finding words, reading jokes. I thought "What happened to the back of cereal boxes?" I thought, "Do the 'back of cereal boxes' still exist?" and then immediately, "Who has time to read the back of a cereal box?"

I had woken up reading that morning, but I was not the simple yet enthralling back of a cereal box, it was the 7 point font, on a 4 inch screen. In the first few minutes of my consciousness, dozens of thoughts, ideas, people, connections jolted to a start as I read or watched or saw the latest happenings of my 900 closest friends. I can only imagine what was actually happening with my neurons. Staring at the cereal box, I saw this glimpse of a simpler life: thinking of only the most pressing things in the morning, slowly thinking of what the day will hold and then waking my brain up by piecing together the food a monkey might like with their cereal or the shape of the cereal and then searching for the answer amidst the multi-colored alphabet soup.

Instead, I wake up to an LED screen and what I missed in Russia, Syria, Brazil, China, you name it, in my 6-8 hours of forced unconsciousness-- feeling left behind before my brain has even realized it needs to be awake.

I  am certainly not the first to write on busy-ness; nor am I the most informed, nor the most profound. I will likely say nothing in this blog that has not been said before; however, I still must ask - what are we doing? One could as what are we not doing, but truly, what are we doing with our lives?

Why has 24 hours become too few for a day? What are we doing that the time we have is not enough?

I don't know that an era of "the back of cereal boxes" ever truly existed. If it did, it seems it would have been something of Mayberry and The Cleavers, but surely life - especially in the Western world, I cannot speak for other parts with any true knowledge - was not always so hay-wire.

Do we really all need to be experts on foreign and domestic affairs; international finance; every major global crisis that arises; all major environmental issues and concerns; domestic and foreign politics; the latest social media trends; the latest #hashtags; #PokemonGO #Rio2016 #win #me; the best vines; that lady with the wookie mask; the happenings of celebrities who live often thousands of miles away; and the best in music and movie entertainment? This does not even mention that we are supposed to pay our bills, eat, sustain relationships and do our jobs. Why do we feel the need to do and be and know "everything."

Who has time for hobbies when mere existing has become a hobby in and of itself?

 We need to be the best friend, best significant other, best employee, best citizen. I think I heard it referred to as a "trophies for everyone" age. But why has this expansion of knowledge caused such an expansion of self importance? Why must we each be the man on the headline, the woman on the Today show, the girl on the reality show, the child in the talent show? We all seek so desperately to be important and to be acknowledge in this generation. Is it that social media has made acknowledgement a norm rather than an honor or highlight? But then you can't hear anything as you try to hear everything. I feel like I end up being (or, rather, feeling like) "nothing" as I try to be "everything."

I fear sometimes that this generation will be titled "The Aimless Generation," losing ourselves while we were standing still scouting every horizon. We are a generation of the wife in Fahrenheit 451, talking to our screens while missing the reality that is all around us. 

I fear the busyness of this generation and its long-lasting effects. I can't quite see what they'll be, but I've seen how destructive the noise has been to my own plans and goals and productivity. I've sought to simultaneously pursue paths A, B, and C because they're all "right in front of me," all to find myself heading down path D or no path at all. What will the larger effect be of an entire generation knowing everything and nothing all at once? -- a world full of "experts," but no one of knowledge. I know it's starting to sound a bit dystopian, but when does it all reach a breaking point? Or does it just sit at the threshold of breaking indefinitely?

I suppose nothing is really so wrong, but one can't help but feel something has been lost amidst it all. Amidst the rush it feels like we lost (or lost sight of) the sweet and sacred things that exist in the quiet.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe children will be smarter for knowing how to work an iPad before they can walk. "They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." But maybe I'm not, maybe we are missing something.  Maybe we have lost what can only be heard in the quiet, seen in the serene. Maybe one day they'll link this to cancer - it's happened before.

Whether right or wrong, I miss it. I miss the simplicity of the back of cereal boxes. I miss mornings spent with the people around me rather than the ones in my screen. I miss family movie nights uninterrupted by tweets and texts buzzing in and swooshing out. I guess I'm just an idealist.

But, what would happen if we made space for the backs of cereal boxes again? Perhaps we'd find space for a lot more.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Moving On

by Amy


Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. That's the movie my roommate and I chose to watch tonight as a way to bring in a new season of living. Fitting as we both aim to start a new season of hope for the future...our dreams and goals feeling fresh and bright.

We both decided to leave the home we were in after she and I lived there for two and four years, respectively. It was time. We are both in our thirties and in desperate need to slim down on the number of occupants in a household. Since we are already great friends and had a couple of years experience living together we decided to move to an apartment. Best decision ever.

My last night at the old place was not what I expected. I thought I would have moments of memories and tears. Instead I was tired and ready to get out - get the move over with. Believe me, I've had great memories in that house, and met many amazing young women who were in various stages of life. I've enjoyed getting to know people and hear their stories. There were moments of laughter and tears, dinners and first dates, learning of marriage proposals and wedding preparations. So many wonderful memories. But last year I began to realize if I didn't leave I would be stuck in a bubble for several years to come. And that mustn't happen.

This year I vowed to make change. A positive change for my future. I want to be a wife and mother someday and I realized I couldn't do that living there. Sure, other ladies did. But in my heart and spirit I knew it wasn't my story. That's most important: it wasn't my story.

So, I moved.

I've been in my new apartment for two weeks now and I'm loving every minute. Finally, after years of keeping things in storage I've had the opportunity to really unpack and use things I bought over the years but never used. When you have multiple roommates you learn quickly that things can break and if you have something that you consider valuable...you simply put it away!

There were some things I didn't realize I had - other things I remembered and couldn't wait to put on a shelve or in the kitchen.

Already I have felt like a new chapter has begun.

My prayer is that I continue to make changes. One thing to continually remind myself is this: change doesn't happen in an instant. It doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen in a week. But I'm on the right track. I'm moving forward and that is something to take with much delight.

There's one to check: moving forward!